You must be 18 to view this site. Absolutely spot on. Not 18 and a half, or 17 and three quarters. Nor, in fact, 86.

DaveAndChoc.com is here to make you laugh. That is our primary goal.

There will be a large variety of content for you to enjoy, in various different formats.

Due to our fevered imaginations, immature leanings and warped sense of humour, some of this material may offend.

The material does not necessarily represent the opinions of those involved. Apart from Choc. He is a bigot and a touch retarded.

For your viewing pleasure, this site is best enjoyed chilled with Microsoft Internet Explorer, Mozilla Firefox, Apple Safari, Google Chrome or any other modern browser. Amigas are a no go.

Dave was born into fame, as in early years he was feted as the new Jesus. This turned out to be wrong, as he was 20 years and a day too early. Dave still craved the spotlight, and turned his attentions to looking good 24/7. He was the first man to use the audacious mix of olive juice and pig spit as moisturiser, sparking the 1996 cosmetic revolution. Dave now lives in a small hamlet just on the outskirts of Norfolk, teaching underprivileged children to maim.

A lot of Choc's failings can be explained quite simply by the discovery of him in an upturned diesel canister, floating off the coast of the Isle of Man when he was barely a tot. Choc fought his way to stardom by using the lesser known "Japanese Cantilever" style in primary interviews. After being rejected for a role on Noel's House Party, Choc binged his way through 6.97 tonnes of coleslaw and 233 gallons of cheap lager, and now cannot move without the aid of a small team of pygmies. Choc enjoys pestering C-list celebrities with a potato gun, and can often be heard to cry "see that daddy!" upon landing a particularly good shot.

Dan. Dan, Dan, Dan. A wonderful man. The engine room, they called him. Dan's qualities far surpass that of mere mortals, and men and women gape in awe should he bless them with his presence. Dan was voted "Twat of The Year" two years running, but despite this still has two eyes. Dan has now gone underground, and is rarely seen in daylight, preferring to use the camouflage of the night to lull vixens into his lair, where he encourages them to eat malted milk biscuits and enjoy a nice cup of tea.